Archive for May, 2010

Hollywood Operating System

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010

I stumbled on this today – computer Operating System guidelines as defined by Hollywood Movies.  There’s more old geek humor on his site (try this one, without decaf).

                     /*     Guidelines to development    */
                     /*              on the              */
                     /*    HOLLYWOOD OPERATING SYSTEM    */

1. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

2. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be
accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit
data at two gigabytes per second.

3. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the 
control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

4. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file,
it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a 
backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.
Corollary: Deleting a file instantly removes all copies of said file from
disks, memory, frame buffers and caches across all computers in the universe.

5. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for
a password when you try to access it.

6. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by 
any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all
computer platforms.

7. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, 
everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labeled.

8. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional,
real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.

9. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time
video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY.

10. Whenever a character looks at a terminal, the image is so bright that it
projects itself onto his/her face.

11. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans 
operating computers never make mistakes under stress.

12. (From Independence Day) No matter what kind of virus it is, any computer 
can be infected with it -- even an alien spaceship's computer -- simply by 
running a virus upload program on a laptop.

13. (From Jurassic Park) A custom system with millions of lines of code 
controlling a multimillion dollar theme park can be operated by a 13 year
old who has seen a Unix system before. Seeing an operating system means you
know how to run any application on that system, even custom apps.
       Note: What OS was it really running?
              (1) "These are super computers".  A CrayOS?
              (2) "Quicktime movie, Apple logo, trash can."  MacOS?
              (3) "Reboot. System ready. C:\"  DOS?
              (4) "Hey, this is Unix.  I know this"  Unix?
  The computers in Jurassic Park were Cray supercomputers running the MacOS
  as a graphical shell of DOS all layered on top of a Unix base.

14. You cannot stop a destructive program or virus by unplugging the computer.
Presumably the virus has it's own built-in power supply.

15. You cannot stop a destructive program downloading onto your system by
unplugging the phone line. You must figure out the mandatory "back door" 
all evil virus programmers put in.

16. Computers only crash if a virus or a hacker is involved.

17. All text must be at least 72 point.

18. Word processors do not have an insert point.

19. The only way to reboot is to shut off the main power to the building.

20. Passwords can be guessed in three and exactly three tries.  If you cannot
guess the password in three tries, you must give up immediately.

21. Any task or program can be executed by simply pressing Enter, no matter
which program or window is in the foreground.

22. All scanners, video cameras and digital cameras have a resolution of
approximately 500 megapixels.  Any image can be infinitely magnified with
no pixelization.

23. Security will not improve over time.  Nonaffialiated personnel can take
over a space ship without needing an account or access control.
Corollary: Anyone can override access control lists in the future.

24. All hackers wear black T-shirts or Hawaiian shirts.

25. Incoming messages are displayed letter by letter.  Email over the Internet
works like telegraphs.

26. Microsoft Windows doesn't exist.  Macintosh has a 75% market share.

27. GUI operations, such as image selection and manipulation, can be handled
easily and quickly via the keyboard.

28. If a robot's eyes turn red, it becomes evil.

29. Cell phones and laptops have infinite battery life, until you need to
call for help.

30. Latency does not exist.  Voice and data can be sent to Mars in real time.

31. If all else fails, hit it.  That fixes everything.

32. If you don't have the combination to an electronic door lock, shoot it.
Destruction of the lock electronics will always unlock the door.

Presented by - An open source network & systems monitoring solution

Why does a salad cost more than a Big Mac?

Saturday, May 8th, 2010


The federal government provides huge subsidies to our food producers, but the vast majority of the spending is at odds with our dietary needs and even federal nutritional guidance.

What should be done?

PCRM, (maker of the infographic above) along with many other health and public interest groups, supported the Fairness in Farm and Food Policy Amendment, which was offered by Reps. Ron Kind (D-WI) and Jeff Flake (R-AZ). This amendment would have limited government subsidies of unhealthy foods, cut subsidies to millionaire farmers, and provided more money for nutrition and food assistance programs for Americans and impoverished children overseas.

Unfortunately, politics doomed the reform effort. At the eleventh hour, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) feared that freshman representatives who voted to cut subsidies might risk losing their seats in farm states in the 2008 elections, endangering the Democratic majority. The reform amendment was defeated 117 to 309.

It makes me sad to see these political machinations.  The history of nutritionism in America is rife with it though, and this is only one small example.  Note that PCRM is one of the “public interest” groups supporting the reform bill and these supporters are not to be confused with “special interest” groups.

Flowing Data was the beginning of this little sojourn into farm policy.

On a related note, this is a visual exploration into our food choices.  What does 200 calories look like?

And, as long and I’m posting food pictures, here are a couple commentary pictures I found:

Only in America…